{"id":412,"date":"2022-10-05T21:02:34","date_gmt":"2022-10-05T21:02:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/?p=412"},"modified":"2022-11-07T10:20:18","modified_gmt":"2022-11-07T10:20:18","slug":"dnd-stories-that-one-time-i-played-dd-with-my-boss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/?p=412","title":{"rendered":"DND Stories: That one time I played D&D with my boss."},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh, boy. This is the craziest of the DND stories I\u2019ve told so far\u2026 possibly. It all started back in college when I was delivering pizzas to make money on the side. I was living with a few friends just off campus in a dilapidated house in the nicer part of town, which we lived for free, because I\u2019m incredibly lucky.<\/p>\n

We frequently played Dungeons & Dragons in the basement at that house with Anastasia as the DM. Unlike my DM from my teen years, Anastasia liked combat. A lot. She was a big fan of the fight scenes from the movie Conan. Personally, I loathed these combat-focused D&Ds, but I kept coming back for her.<\/p>\n

One night, I had off work and was in the basement with Anastasia, Chuck, and my other friend, Mike. We were getting ready to start a new campaign, which is what we always did after Christmas break at college. Anastasia had her books and miniatures set up on the piece of plywood that served as a table in the basement.<\/p>\n

I was planning on playing an elven wizard and Chuck was playing a tiefling healer. Mike was playing a fighter.<\/p>\n

We were gathered around the table, waiting for Anastasia to begin when Mike had to use the bathroom. He asked if someone could watch his character sheet while he was gone. Like the idiot I am, I volunteered.<\/p>\n

Before Mike left, Anastasia pulled him aside and talked to him. I didn\u2019t hear what she said, but I could tell she was urging him to use the bathroom before we started. He agreed, said he\u2019d hurry back, and took off. At least that\u2019s what I thought they talked about.<\/p>\n

While we were waiting for him, I got a text message from Harold, my boss at work. The pizza place was shutting down early because some drunk frat boy had drunkenly climbed into the oven and almost died.<\/p>\n

\u201cShit, man,\u201d I\u2019d texted. \u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really, Paul. He was messed up pretty bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Harold. Hopefully he\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026 I hope so, too,\u201d he sent back.<\/p>\n

Harold had never been particularly friendly with me, but I liked him a lot. He was one of the few male leaders I looked up to because he was kind to me and treated me with respect. If I could be half the man he was, I\u2019d feel proud for myself.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs everything all right, man?\u201d Chuck asked, leaning over my shoulder.<\/p>\n

I looked up at him. \u201cWhat? Yeah, sorry. I\u2019m just a little worried about Harold.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome drunk frat punk climbed into the oven\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Anastasia peeked from behind her DM screen. \u201cAre you serious?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. He was on fire when he got out of there. Harold\u2019s probably traumatized for life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, something moved behind my character sheet. Naturally, I assumed it was Mike, who had just returned from the bathroom. I moved to the side, so he could take his seat.<\/p>\n

As I did, I noticed my character sheet doing something I\u2019d never seen before: it was beginning to breathe. I stared at it for a moment, stunned. Then I blinked a few times and stared at it some more.<\/p>\n

It was still breathing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay?\u201d Anastasia asked me from across the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d I brought my attention back to her and the table. \u201cOh, yeah. Yeah, I\u2019m fine. Just\u2026 I\u2019m fine. Harold\u2019s just worried about the cook.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded then disappeared behind her screen. We went about the business of getting ready for our first session. Mike was back by now, saying something about his character sheet smelling like the bathroom. Chuck looked at the sheets and said they didn\u2019t smell like anything, which was true.<\/p>\n

I was still trying to figure out how my character sheet was breathing.<\/p>\n

After a few moments, Anastasia had everything ready to go. She leaned over the table and asked, \u201cAre you guys ready to start?\u201d<\/p>\n

I looked at the table. My character sheet was still moving. It was like a snake, its tongue flicking out of its mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Chuck responded. \u201cWe\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay then,\u201d she continued. \u201cI\u2019m going to set the scene\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Before she could begin, a loud banging on the front door upstairs startled the hell out of me. I jumped out of my chair and clutched the table for support.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell is that?\u201d Anastasia said.<\/p>\n

\u201cProbably the wind,\u201d I said. \u201cThis place is falling apart. It\u2019s probably just a breeze that slammed the door shut.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Paul,\u201d she said. \u201cJust take it easy. If a breeze slammed the door that hard, it would\u2019ve blown you off the chair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess,\u201d I said to her. \u201cJust the wind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d I nodded.<\/p>\n

I was still staring at my character sheet, which was still moving.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d she repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

She glanced at me for a second, then went back to her screen and started setting the scene. Before she could finish, the knock repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYo, that\u2019s someone at the door, man, Mike said. \u201cI\u2019ll go look.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stood up and started up the stairs.<\/p>\n

Anastasia and I looked at each other. \u201cI\u2019ll go with him,\u201d I said, standing.<\/p>\n

\n
\"\"
Anastasia as her favorite NPC\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

I followed Mike up the stairs and into the living room.<\/p>\n

We heard the knock a third time. \u201cI\u2019m gonna go see who it is,\u201d Mike said. \u201cYou stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded. He went to the door and opened it. Harold stood there, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, hey, Harold,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d been over to hang out a few other times, but I\u2019d never seen him look so shaken up.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys have any beer to go with this?\u201d He raised the bottle.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I said, \u201cbut I think Anastasia\u2019s downstairs with Chuck. We\u2019re in the middle of a game.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, fuck.\u201d He slumped against the wall. \u201cSorry to bother you guys, but I just wanna get drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome play with us,\u201d Mike offered.<\/p>\n

I shot him a look but didn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. I\u2019ll do that. Just give me one second.\u201d He took a swig from the bottle. \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

We led him to the basement. He was in good spirits, but he was a little sloppy walking. We got down the stairs, and when Harold saw the table, he smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my,\u201d he muttered. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen a set-up like this since I was in college.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got a fourth player,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

Anastasia took it in stride. \u201cThat\u2019s perfect. Everyone sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harold sat down. I took my seat next to him. Thankfully, my character sheet wasn\u2019t moving anymore.<\/p>\n

Over the next hour, as Anastasia led us in a rip-roaring adventure, we gradually explained Dungeons & Dragons to Harold. At first, he wasn\u2019t interested. He hadn\u2019t played in years, but he was eventually pulled into the game. We were having a blast. Harold, who was really the only drunk I\u2019d ever met that didn\u2019t get mean and angry, seemed to be enjoying himself.<\/p>\n

Halfway through the game, Harold announced his character was going to drink a potion of some sort.<\/p>\n

An NPC \u2013 some strange race we\u2019d never met before \u2013 was standing next to Harold. He was playing a female gnome bard to be specific.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have an urge to press the button in the workshop,\u201d Anastasia said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho me?\u201d Harold asked.<\/p>\n

Anastasia nodded, just the top of her head showing over the DM screen.<\/p>\n

\u201cI press the button\u2026\u201d Harold slurred.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not be pressing the button!\u201d Anastasia practically screamed in an accent that cracked me up.<\/p>\n

It sounded like a mix between a Jamaican dragon and a French pirate.<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me some dice. I press the damn button!\u201d Harold insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not be pressing the button!\u201d Anastasia repeated in the voice that would become a meme to our group.<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me some dice. I press the damn button!\u201d Harold said again.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not be pressing the button!\u201d Anastasia said again.<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me some dice. I press the damn button!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not be pressing the button!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me some dice. I press the damn button!\u201d<\/p>\n

This continued for longer than I think any of us expected. We were all laughing so hard we couldn\u2019t stop. Anastasia wouldn\u2019t let Harold press the button, and Harold kept insisting he\u2019d press the button. Finally, Anastasia had to give in.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine!\u201d she yelled.<\/p>\n

Harold rolled the dice. He rolled a natural 20.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid I press the button?\u201d Harold asked.<\/p>\n

Anastasia just stared at him.<\/p>\n

We were all silent for a moment. A rush of cold air blew through the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you press the button\u2026\u201d Anastasia had us all drunkenly on the edge of our seats. \u201c\u2026a loud rumbling sound echoes through the room. It sounds like a machine of some sort \u2013 a large machine. It sounds like gears turning, like a massive engine, and it\u2019s growing louder. Then, suddenly, a red light shines down from the ceiling at the far end of the room. It\u2019s a light that you can feel, that you can sense in your bones, and it\u2019s getting closer and closer. It\u2019s almost like the light is growing. The light is becoming more intense, it\u2019s almost\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She stopped talking and stared hard at Harold. \u201cRoll 10d4.\u201d<\/p>\n

I scrambled to get the appropriate dice in front of Harold, wondering what was going on.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoll 10d4.\u201d Anastasia said again.<\/p>\n

Harold started rolling, and as he did, I saw Anastasia grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cEighteen,\u201d Harold muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe light is becoming more powerful, and you can see that it\u2019s not a light at all, but a blinding ray of red energy. It\u2019s a ray of pure energy that\u2019s emanating from the eye of a small red dragon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\"DND
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cAs the light comes closer,\u201d Anastasia went on, \u201cit becomes more intense, and you can feel the heat from the red dragon\u2019s eye. It\u2019s so hot and so powerful, it\u2019s almost burning you, and it\u2019s getting closer and closer. You can feel the heat, you can feel the pain, you can feel the burning\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI unpress the button. I unpress the button!\u201d Harold screeched.<\/p>\n

At this point, we all lost it and any semblance of a normal Dungeons & Dragons session faded.<\/p>\n

We helped call a cab for Harold (I\u2019m aging myself here!), then all went back to crash.<\/p>\n

As I fell asleep that night, I wondered if I\u2019d see Harold again, but I also wondered why the hell my character sheet was moving.<\/p>\n

But that, my friends, is another story entirely.<\/p>\n

Until next time, thanks for reading my DND stories\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh, boy. This is the craziest of the DND stories I\u2019ve told so far\u2026 possibly. It all started back in college when I was delivering pizzas to make money on the side. I was living with a few friends just off campus in a dilapidated house in the nicer part of town, which we lived<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":628,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=412"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":629,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions\/629"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/globalgoodplay.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}